she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
