i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I want to walk on stilts...naked
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
