So drunk, too bad you don't want this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
