so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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