I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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