I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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