Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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