he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I want to fling myself into the sun
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
