he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Iโll call you later. Thereโs a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize