They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dignity is for republicans.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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