The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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