eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
