so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
