Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We have so much sex to catch up on
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
