Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
