thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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