I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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