lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
