Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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