Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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