very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
