He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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