She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
