Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
love makes seman taste better
she told me i tasted like america
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
