Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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