I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
