i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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