there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
