508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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