Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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