If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
