just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
