There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
