I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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