Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
