I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize