I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
