i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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