i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
