Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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