You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
