where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
