Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
