32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
