all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
