It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
