he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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