There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
