Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
