Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
