So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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