your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
