Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
