you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
