You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
