Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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