You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
